Archive for the ‘Niggaz’ Category

Big news, y’all.

Tha Fresh Prince of Pyongyang’s favourite Round Eyed Afriniggaz be coming atcha with some sweet ass joints next week.

Die Antwoord be tha dopest shit on that dark ass continent that ain’t the missiles and blunt ass machetes we sold to those rebels in the Congo in return for all that mad bling a year or so back, yo.

I think this joint Evil Boy be all about the J-Unit, yo.

Check it. Tha 4 STAR G be in negotiations via my nigga Major Choe to get this joint released here in Azya thru my Yongbyon Records.

Yolandi some weird ass lokking bitch. Still, in the dark ass alleys of Hanoi and Rangoon, the J-Unit fucked stranger looking chicks. There be rumours for mad years now that Ri Chun Il, one of my alt niggaz on the Central Committee once fucked an Orangutan. We sent that crazy ass muthafucka to Indonesia to try to get those fez-wearing fucks to buy some of our missiles to shoot at those Round Eye chumps Ausfalia. He didn’t sell any missiles, but Choe said he heard from his friend in the miliary front company in Macao that Ri fucked the monkey. Said there be some myth it makes you all virile and shit. The Fresh Prince’s seed be pure, so fuck that shit, maaan.

One love Afrika.

– K to tha J to tha muthafucking U

Yo, it’s the 4 Star G y’all!

I got big love and mad props to send out to all my niggaz appointed and reappointed to the Central Committee of the Korean Workers Party:

Kim Jong Il, Kang Nung Su, Kang Tong Yun, Kang Sok Ju, Kang Phyo Yong, Kang Yang Mo, Ko Pyong Hyon, Kim Kuk Thae, Kim Kyong Hui, Kim Kyong Ok, Kim Ki Nam, Kim Ki Ryong, Kim Rak Hui, Kim Myong Guk, Kim Pyong Ryul, Kim Pyong Ho, Kim Song Dok, Kim Song Chol, Kim Jong Gak, Kim Jong Suk, Kim Jong Im, Kim Chang Sop, Kim Chol Man, Kim Chun Sam, Kim Thae Bong, Kim Phyong Hae, Kim Hyong Ryong, Kim Hyong Sik, Kim Hi Thaek, Kim Yang Gon, Kim Yong Nam, Kim Yong Chun, Kim Yong Il, Kim Yong Chol, Kim Yong Jin, Kim In Sik, Kim Won Hong, Kwak Pom Gi, Ryang Man Gil, Ryo Chun Sok, Ro Tu Chol, Ro Pae Gwon, Ryu Yong Sop, Ri Ryong Nam, Ri Man Gon, Ri Myong Su, Ri Mu Yong, Ri Pyong Sam, Ri Pyong Chol, Ri Pong Dok, Ri Pong Juk, Ri Thae Nam, Ri Hyong Gun, Ri Hi Hon, Ri Yong Gil, Ri Yong Su, Ri Yong Ho, Ri Yong Mu, Ri Yong Hwan, Ri Yong Chol, Ri Ul Sol, Rim Kyong Man, Mun Kyong Dok, Pak Kwang Chol, Pak To Chun, Pak Myong Chol, Pak Su Gil, Pak Sung Won, Pak Jong Sun, Pak Jong Gun, Pak Jae Gyong, Pak Thae Dok, Pak Ui Chun, Pyon Yong Rip, Pyon In Son, Paek Se Bong, Song Ja Rip, Jang Pyong Gyu, Jang Song Thaek, Jang Chol, Jon Kil Su, Jon Ryong Guk, Jon Pyong Ho, Jon Jin Su, Jon Chang Bok, Jon Ha Chol, Jon Hui Jong, Jong Myong Do, Jong Ho Gyun, Jong In Guk, Jo Kyong Chol, Jo Myong Rok, Jo Pyong Ju, Ju Kyu Chang, Ju Sang Song, Ju Yong Sik, Cha Sung Su, Chae Hui Jong, Choe Kyong Song, Choe Ryong Hae, Choe Pu Il, Choe Sang Ryo, Choe Thae Bok, Choe Hui Jong, Choe Yong Dok, Choe Yong Rim, Thae Jong Su, Han Kwang Bok, Han Tong Gun, Hyon Chol Hae, Hyon Yong Chol, Hong Sok Hyong, Hong In Bom, An Jong Su, Yang Tong Hun, Yang Hyong Sop, O Kuk Ryol, O Kum Chol, O Su Yong, O Il Jong, U Tong Chuk, Yun Tong Hyon and Yun Jong Rin.

Except for you, Kwak Pom Gi. Fuck you, you chump ass punk. I saw you cut me off last month in the carpark outside the basketball stadium before the game between April 25 and the Navy in that piece of shit rusted ass Hafei minivan you drive. Fuck you man, you can suck my dick.

Big ups to my alt niggaz, the alternative members of the CC:

Kang Ki Sop, Kang Kwan Ju, Kang Kwan Il, Kang Min Chol, Kang Hyong Bong, Ko Su Il, Kim Kyok Sik, Kim Kye Gwan, Kim Tong Un, Kim Tong Il, Kim Tong I, Kim Tong Il, Kim Myong Sik, Kim Pyong Hun, Kim Pong Ryong, Kim Chang Myong, Kim Chon Ho, Kim Chung Gol, Kim Thae Mun, Kim Hui Yong, Kim Yong Suk, Kim Yong Jae, Kim Yong Ho, Kim Yong Gwang, Kim U Ho, Kwon Hyok Bong, No Kwang Chol, Tong Jong Ho, Tong Yong Il, Ryom In Yun, Ro Kyong Jun, Ro Song Sil, Ryu Kyong, Ri Kuk Jun, Ri Ki Su, Ri Myong Gil, Ri Min Chol, Ri Sang Gun, Ri Song Gwon, Ri Su Yong, Ri Jong Sik, Ri Jae Il, Ri Je Son, Ri Chan Hwa, Ri Chang Han, Ri Chol, Ri Chun Il, Ri Thae Sop, Ri Thae Chol, Ri Hong Sop, Ri Hi Su, Ri Yong Ju, Ri Yong Ho, Ri Il Nam, Pak Ri Sun, Pak Pong Ju, Pak Chang Bom, Paek Kye Ryong, Paek Ryong Chon, So Tong Myong, Son Chong Nam, Song Kwang Chol, Sin Sung Hun, Jang Myong Hak, Jang Yong Gol, Jang Ho Chan, Jon Kyong Son, Jon Kwang Rok, Jon Song Ung, Jon Chang Rim, Jong Myong Hak, Jong Pong Phil, Jong Pong Gun, Jong Un Hak, Jo Song Hwan, Jo Jae Yong, Jo Yong Chol, Ji Jae Ryong, Cha Kyong Il, Cha Jin Sun, Cha Yong Myong, Choe Ki Ryong, Choe Kwan Jun, Choe Tae Il, Choe Pong Ho, Choe Chan Gon, Choe Chun Sik, Choe Hyon, Choe Yong Do, Choe Yong, Thae Hyong Chol, Han Chang Nam, Han Chang Sun, Han Hung Phyo, Ho Song Gil, Hyon Sang Ju, Hong Kwang Sun, Hong So Hon, Hong Sung Mu, Hwang Pyong So, Hwang Sun Hui, Hwang Hak Won, An Tong Chun, Yang In Guk and O Chol San

Except for Jon Song Ung, Ryom In Yung and Song Kwang Chol. What you ever done for the Brilliant Comrade, yo? You ain’t done shit for me you freeloading pussyass faggits. Hong So Hon, he my nigga, I know I can count on him, yo. I got mad love for my bro Jang Myong Hak. But I see you ignoring me in the lunch canteen. I see you whispering shit to eachother when I walk past. Fuck y’all haters I got plenty of friends. Fuck all y’all.

Nas and tha Junior Gong Comin’ atcha. This joint be for you Cha Jin Sun, I know you lovin’ on Nas.

– One Love, niggaz.

The J-Unit be EPIC blunted, yo.

That be some hard ass chronic shit Major Choe be trading those centrifuges for with them sandniggaz.

I ain’t been this high since North Carolina beat Michigan State last year, yo. We be all jumping over fires and shit. Jong-Chul be all burning his ass and shit. Shit was cash. I put the pics up on Flickr, yo.

We did some shit, though, Choe and me, when we was all blasted that didn’t work out so good.

Not that faggot shit if that what you be thinking. That be a southern thing, up here not so much. Except in the prisons, yo. But way I see it, what a nigga get up to in prison or in some dark ass coal mine be his own business, you feel me?

Nah man, what I mean is we was watching this dancing monkey on the internet which FINALLY got itself back again after all them storms. Man. We must’ve been watching that nigga for fucking hours man.We be laughing out blunt ass asses off, yo. Choe be all like, for a monkey, that bitch be pretty hot.

Somehow we ended up making this:

And somehow, we ended up ordering the Party Printing House to print up 50,000 of these muthafuckas for my inauguration in a few days time.

I don’t remember any of that shit actually happening, but I’m told it did, and it sure as shit seem like the sort of fucked up shit I be doing when I’s blunted.

And nigga, I was EPIC blunted, yo.

So dad found out when some chumpass nigga in the Printing House be calling up someone to ask why we wanna go be printing 50,000 posters with the head of gramps, Kim Il-Sung, replaced by that sweet ass dancing monkey.

Someone in Dad’s office came down and be all like NIGGA WOT?

So dad calls me and he’s like WOT THA FUCK, NIGGA? And he be saying that I as bad as that weak ass junkie Jong-Chul and he don’t know if he wanna be handing over power and shit to me no more.

It be ok though. He just be butt hurt we not be sharing the chronic. I explained that gramps still be my dead ass Choson nigga number one, yo. Me and Choe, we was just smoking up. He need to chill. He on edge cos he all dying and shit.

And he be like, where that dope from, yo? Except he don’t really talk like that but that be what he meant.

And I explain about this deal that me and Choe be doing with the sandniggaz and how we selling what we ain’t smoking to the Chinks and the faggitz in the south and stacking mad bills, yo.

O man.

You shoulda seen his face.

He got all red and start choking like he be sucking on the fattest J you ever seen.

Then he be all lecturing me about how shit be all “sensitive” with the round-eyes and the southern faggits and how now really be not the time to be making deals to swap nukes with the sandniggaz for weed and shit. Says we gotta be careful or they be getting even more up in our shit.

Man, I thought he’d be proud.

We be fucking raking in the dough, yo.

He just shakes his head and gets his hot ass nurse to wheel his butthurt butt away.

I’m gonna beat the shit out of that nigga Major Choe when I see him next.

– Peace out and smoke up, niggaaaaaz!

– J-Unit For Real

Storms still be blowing and shit and man am I steaming.

This time it ain’t those pussyass haters down in Gwangju with their bullshit Biennale and fake artists and shit.

It be the old man.

Y’all know how I’m taking over and shit in a little bit, rite? They be calling me the Morningstar General and the Choson Nigga Number One and all that shit, yeah?

So the old man is all like, Jong-Un, you best be getting your cabinet and advisers and shit in order. He’s like, I’m gonna need some hardass niggaz around me to advise me on shit like the economy and food and the internet and shit.

And he’s saying all like how I need niggaz I can trust and shit, cos I can’t have no backstabbing muthafuckas that gonna go stabbing me in the back when I got back turned. Word.

That ain’t why I’m angry though, yo.

This be good advise from the old man. For real. Nigga gotta keep a hold of what’s his.

But then he’s like, you should appoint the head of the army, Wonsu Kim Yong-Chun to be your chief adviser.

And I’m all like Nigga wot?

And he’s like he’s been doing what the Party says since the battle of Naktong Bulge or some shit.

And I’m like, I don’t care about that, what’s some wrinkled old peanut fuck gonna advise me on? He’s like fucking older than the Amiga, man.

I said this is my cabinet and my advisers and I’m gonna choose who I want.

And the old man’s like, so who you want?

And I say Shaggy 2 Dope.

And the old man, he just doesn’t say anything.

So I have to fucking explain the fucking Clown Posse all over again and about how S2D be the illest muthafucka in wrestling  too. He be my military adviser and he can party down.

And then I say I want Steve Cleveland to be my other adviser.

And he doesn’t know who that is either.

And I’m like, nigga only be like the best coach in the Mountain West College bball conference.

And the old man, he’s like shaking his head and shit and he calls for his nurse to take him away. And I’m like, bitch, soon it be my ass you be wiping. And the old man, he’s just¬† saying like “I think I have made a big mistake.”

And I’m like, “for real, nigga. Word.” That be the smartest thing that old man ever said.

So when Major Choe gets back from Macao, I’m gonna send him to go get Shaggy and Steve and then we be getting this muthafucka STARTED. For REAL.

Here be another joint. Whoever made this, he gonna be at my Pyongyang Biennale. He almost as good at Warcraft as me.

My Niggaz

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000August UTC15PM J+0000415 in 2Pac, Communism, Dead ass niggaz, DPRK, Kim Jong-Un, Niggaz, North Korea, Star Craft

These are my niggaz right here.

Fuck Jong-Nam and Jong-Chul.

Pussy asses.

I wanna party with these hardass niggaz.

Man, if these muthafuckas were on my Star Craft II team we would fucking dominate.

Bitches love that shit, man.

And you know what else, dawg? No UN mothafuckas ever fucked with these hardass nigga muthafuckas neither, man.

Yeah. These are my niggaz right here.

Also 2Pac.

Big love to my deadass nigga 2Pac. For Real.

Peace-out.

– Jong-un