Archive for the ‘Korean Air’ Category

The J-UNIT gonna be taking a little study trip, yo.

Military Intelligence says I can’t say where – CHUMP KOREA & AUSFALIA!!! – and I sure as shit can’t say when – NEXT WEEK, Y’ALL!!! – but it’s gonna happen, yo.

Officially it’s like those trips around the country that my gramps, Kim Il-Sung used to take. The Korean Central News Agency be reporting on them all the time. They in story books and shit. They mostly about how he fought tha Japs and healed some leppers and made blind people see. With weed, I guess. Major Choe said weed be good for that. That before Choe got sent away.

Unofficially, though, the old man thinks it would be good for me to just get away from the stress and media attention and shit. It’s pretty intense. I can’t walk down the street without bitches being all throwing themselves at me and shit. Everyone wanting my autograph and advice on how to increase industrial or agricultural production by they reaffirming commitment to tha guiding principles of Juche and Songun and shit.

I’m pretty fucking excited, yo.

But I’s also pretty fucking pissed off as well.

Check it, I spent most of tha day on the Korean Air site trying to book my flights. Air Koryo banned me for life last year after I be glassing that chump ass faggit pilot who be telling the stewardesses to be 86ing me on tha small wines.

Not that I’d fly with those chumps ever again anyway. Check it – have you seen the fucking huge number of points a nigga be needing on the Air Koryo frequent flyer program for even an upgrade to business? It fucking crazy, yo. Fuck that shit man.

Problem is Korean Air weren’t accepting my DPRK Central Bank issued visa card and they refused my Banco Delta Asia AmEx. Same with Asiana, yo – they be to Korean Air what South Korea is to Real Korea, yo. It’s fucking crazyass, maaaan! Is my laundered money no good to you punks? We all know how poor Pussy Ass Korea is, yo. We all know it just a disease-infested American chump colony, yo. So why they be rejecting my money?

So my options basically be (1) cancel my holiday or (2) bite tha muthafucking bullet and get tha train to Dandong and take Ryan Air. So obviously I wanna cancel, rite?

Problem is tha old man say, no way I can just hanging around Pyongyang all winter. He say I either take the trip or I go do something “productive” with my time like take a course at Pyongyang Community College. Learn to speak Chinese or how to speed type or something.

So Ryan Air it is. Worse than Koryo, yo, but I can’t wait to get on tha road.

P.s. Look out Massimiliano Gioni – I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna fuck you up, you punk ass poseur.

P.p.s. So wanna fuck tha Korea Air error message cartoon bitch. So fucking hot, maaaaaan.

So fucking hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

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