Fuck You, Kim Jong-Nam I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass

Fuck you Kim Jong-Nam, you fat fuck. I’m gonna kick your punk ass next time I see you.

Fuck you, you chump, talking shit about tha 4 STAR G and how I don’t deserve to be leader and shit. You weren’t saying shit about 3rd generation dynastic succession when it be you in the box seat you chubby cunt. You just all jelly because you be disgracing tha muthaland when you tried to go sneaking into Japan on that fake passport. You cheap ass foo’, I be telling you any fake passport you buy from a hustler in Dandong for 50 yuan not be worth shit. Did you listen, you dumb ass chump?

For real, man. Fuck you. I’m gonna kick your ass so hard when I see you at Jong-Chul’s birthday party. You’ll be burping farts for a week I’ll kick your ass so hard.

Haters Gonna Hate

What can a nigga say, yo?

Haters gonna hate. That all there is to it.

Jealous muthafuckas all part of the game, yo, they all part of the game for a famous G like me, you feel me?

There be some big ass haters down south in Pussy Ass Korea, y’all. Check it.

Look at those chumps hatin’ on tha Fresh Prince of Pyongyang, yo. We dress better up here in the North LOL!!!

What this punk all butthurt about, yo? I ain’t seen a nigga that upset since the time me and my brother Jong-Chul got cheated by this Jap speed dealer when we was in Tokyo this one time. Man. Tha JC so pissed he call back home and made the army shoot this rocket into the ocean to scare that punk ass dealer. Say we gonna nuke the place he ever short us on pills again, yo.

Normally I ain’t gonna be hatin’ on a nigga just for hatin’, yo. Like I said, haters part of the fame game. But at least get a niggaz name rite you gonna be hating on him, yo. That just disrespectful what they doing there.

O man. That the best they got down there, yo? Fire in a can? No wonder they be sending the Old Man all that money and food and shit as tribute, yo. Our weapons much better than some pussy ass fire in a can, yo. We got nukes and planes and submarines and shit. I feel bad for a nigga come to a rumble all he got be fire in a can, yo.

One Love, y’all

– FFP to tha 4 STAR G, y’all

How You Like My Party Plans?

Lemme run something by y’all this one time, yo.

We all know that I be taking OVER this nigga we be calling the D to tha P to tha R to tha muthafucking CHOSON NIGGAAAAA!!! on Sep 9, yo?

So I be getting my inauguration party together. Those round-eye Yankee chumps they get big parties and shit.

Why not the master race, yo?

So I be getting my plan on, dog. For real.

Dad still kinda butthurt about that thing with the dancing monkey over grandpa’s face so I be wanting to run this shit by you before I take it to him. Major Choe, he be my right hand nigga, but he still be sleeping off this epic Chronic he be trading some nuke shit with the hairy ass sandniggaz for. He no good.

So here what I be thinking, yo.

To open this mother fucker up have this poster all big:

That weed, it be all lit up and shining and shit. See weed be symbolizing new life and shit being all green and shit. Plus it shows that we be the cool ass Corea, not like them fucks down in the south.Fuck those chump ass punks.

Then we got this mad shit, yo. Check it:

These be the KARA JUCHE CAT bitches. Man that is so fucking hot. I be making my self so fucking hard when I be thinking that shit all up.

We have this bigass disco ball that actually be the real ass Choson symbol, see. It be real big, though. Big like a soccerball. Then we be having these KARA bitches be all singing and shit.

And they be dressed like cats.

Then we be having the main event.

It be my nigga. My nigga Soulja Boy.

He be coming out and doing this like medley of tributes to ALL my dead ass niggaz.

2Pac mostly, but my gramps, Kim Il-Sung, too.

He be joined by Snoop if tht stoner ass muthafucka Choe be awake in time to get his ass over here.

Soulja Boy be down. We be tight. He my nigga. He not let a nigga down, yo.

Then I come out at the end of all that and do this banga joint that I be working with Timbaland on, yo.

He say it be ready in time for Sep 9, but not before then, and we can’t release it or post it or nuthing because it gonna be the theme to EA NBA 2011.

They don’t make that shit for my SNES, yo. I played it one time at the mall when we went to Tokyo and it be ok. It ain’t Super Mario SNES, yo. You think Mario let his brother fuck that Princess? If I be him, I say no way. No way I be letting that junkie Jong-Chul or that old fuck Jong-Nam be fucking my bitch, yo. They get their own bitches.

Then when I give my shout-outs to ALL the niggaz deserve mad props, that be when we be seeing this, yo:

Ha ha. You be all like NIGGA WOT?

That be the new flag, yo.

It basically the old one, but it got some weed on it. It be reprsenting new life and shit.

So what you think? Shit be cash? I don’t wanna tell my dad yet and I gotta check with Major Choe but I be pretty sure this gonna be one wild ass meeting of the Korean Workers Party, yo!

– Mad props, homiez.

Pops Butthurt But Kim Il-Sung Still My Dead Ass Nigga

The J-Unit be EPIC blunted, yo.

That be some hard ass chronic shit Major Choe be trading those centrifuges for with them sandniggaz.

I ain’t been this high since North Carolina beat Michigan State last year, yo. We be all jumping over fires and shit. Jong-Chul be all burning his ass and shit. Shit was cash. I put the pics up on Flickr, yo.

We did some shit, though, Choe and me, when we was all blasted that didn’t work out so good.

Not that faggot shit if that what you be thinking. That be a southern thing, up here not so much. Except in the prisons, yo. But way I see it, what a nigga get up to in prison or in some dark ass coal mine be his own business, you feel me?

Nah man, what I mean is we was watching this dancing monkey on the internet which FINALLY got itself back again after all them storms. Man. We must’ve been watching that nigga for fucking hours man.We be laughing out blunt ass asses off, yo. Choe be all like, for a monkey, that bitch be pretty hot.

Somehow we ended up making this:

And somehow, we ended up ordering the Party Printing House to print up 50,000 of these muthafuckas for my inauguration in a few days time.

I don’t remember any of that shit actually happening, but I’m told it did, and it sure as shit seem like the sort of fucked up shit I be doing when I’s blunted.

And nigga, I was EPIC blunted, yo.

So dad found out when some chumpass nigga in the Printing House be calling up someone to ask why we wanna go be printing 50,000 posters with the head of gramps, Kim Il-Sung, replaced by that sweet ass dancing monkey.

Someone in Dad’s office came down and be all like NIGGA WOT?

So dad calls me and he’s like WOT THA FUCK, NIGGA? And he be saying that I as bad as that weak ass junkie Jong-Chul and he don’t know if he wanna be handing over power and shit to me no more.

It be ok though. He just be butt hurt we not be sharing the chronic. I explained that gramps still be my dead ass Choson nigga number one, yo. Me and Choe, we was just smoking up. He need to chill. He on edge cos he all dying and shit.

And he be like, where that dope from, yo? Except he don’t really talk like that but that be what he meant.

And I explain about this deal that me and Choe be doing with the sandniggaz and how we selling what we ain’t smoking to the Chinks and the faggitz in the south and stacking mad bills, yo.

O man.

You shoulda seen his face.

He got all red and start choking like he be sucking on the fattest J you ever seen.

Then he be all lecturing me about how shit be all “sensitive” with the round-eyes and the southern faggits and how now really be not the time to be making deals to swap nukes with the sandniggaz for weed and shit. Says we gotta be careful or they be getting even more up in our shit.

Man, I thought he’d be proud.

We be fucking raking in the dough, yo.

He just shakes his head and gets his hot ass nurse to wheel his butthurt butt away.

I’m gonna beat the shit out of that nigga Major Choe when I see him next.

– Peace out and smoke up, niggaaaaaz!

– J-Unit For Real