Archive for the ‘haters’ Category

Fuck This H8R- Everyone Know Facebook For Chumps

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000October UTC19PM J+0000219 in Facebook, haters, MySpace

Yo, fuck this punk ass chump impersonating tha 4 STAR G on Facebook,

yohttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Kim-Jong-un/74400916361

That ain’t me. Everyone know that ain’t me, yo.

You know how we all know that ain’t me, yo?

Cos no way would the K to tha J to tha muthafucking U be on Facebook, yo.

Except to join just now to report that beeyatch for defaming me. Hater – you gonna get no where with your hating you hater ass punk.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001804267054

Facebook can suck my dick, yo. And that autistic fuck what be inventing it that they be making that movie all about. He can suck my dick too, yo. Fuck that shit.

MySpace tha J-Unit’s party, yo.

Check it. Where tha strippers on Facebook?

Where my DJs at? Where my wannabe gangstas and rappers and b-boys be all at up in that muthafucker, yo?

Facebook for chumps.

And Mister “http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kim-Jong-un/74400916361” nigga, you can suck my dick.

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Yo, tha J-Unit about to take a little trip, yo.

South of tha border down Chump Corea way.

I got some shit to sort out with those haters working at the Chosun Ilbo, yo.

First they be getting all up in tha J niggaz shit by reporting on the porn stash we got going up here. That be setting off a chain of events in my life I rather be forgetting, yo. For real.

Now they repeating bullshit lies and hating from some chump ass farmers from Hamgyong-Pukyo talking shit about tha 4 STAR G.

Ha. Now y’all be knowing why we be testing our nukes all up in that shit hole.

Check it:

Another source from North Hamgyong Province said the federation of farmers passed out material praising Kim Jong-un’s skills and urging farmers to create a new agricultural revolution under his guidance. “The material described an inspection trip by Kim Jong-il and Kim Jong-un to an agricultural commune in 2008, where the younger Kim surprised experts by spontaneously coming up with a microbial fertilizer that could improve the quality of soil,” the source said, and claimed farmers who used it were able to “miraculously” harvest 15 tons of wheat per 9,917 sq. m of farmland. “Farmers who read the material laughed at it, saying if it was true Kim Jong-un could solve the North’s food shortage simply by stepping on all the farms in the country, so all they’d have to worry about is how to dispose of the excess amount of food next year,” the source said.

Man, that source can suck my dick. That story be 100% true.

For real. Check it.

This was back in the old school days back when I first started kicking it with tha old man on these tours around chicken farms and shit – and not tha fake tours that he be making up and the KCNA be reporting on so he have an excuse not to watch my stylin’ on the bball court, yo, these was tha for real chicken farm tours.

So we be meeting these chump ass farmers and be all like, “wot up, nigga? Tha K to tha J to tha muthafucking U checking in, yo! How tha fuck you be doing growing food all up in this place?”

And they be all like, “it ain’t so good, yo. Weasels and shit be all eating our food, yo and it be growing all real small and shit.”

And I be like, “yo, fuck that shit, dawg. When we was growing weed in my dorm back in Switzerland, my roomie and me be using this bat shit fertilizer stuff to be making that shit grow. Maaan, that be some of tha strongest fucking weed I ever be smoking, yo.”

So I say to the old man, “yo, what these field niggaz be needing is some grade-a bat guano, yo. We can prolly send a soldier off to Dandong to buy some of that shit or just get it off the internet like I did in Switzerland, yo.”

So that be tha story all about how the J-Unit saved Christmas for tha field niggers all up in Hamgyong-Pukyo, yo, so fuck those haters.

Fuck you Kim Jong-Nam, you fat fuck. I’m gonna kick your punk ass next time I see you.

Fuck you, you chump, talking shit about tha 4 STAR G and how I don’t deserve to be leader and shit. You weren’t saying shit about 3rd generation dynastic succession when it be you in the box seat you chubby cunt. You just all jelly because you be disgracing tha muthaland when you tried to go sneaking into Japan on that fake passport. You cheap ass foo’, I be telling you any fake passport you buy from a hustler in Dandong for 50 yuan not be worth shit. Did you listen, you dumb ass chump?

For real, man. Fuck you. I’m gonna kick your ass so hard when I see you at Jong-Chul’s birthday party. You’ll be burping farts for a week I’ll kick your ass so hard.

So once again tha J to tha K to tha muthafucking U gotta come at choo with some pissed off shit, yo.

So once again chump ass niggas be getting all up in a niggaz shit, where they got no right poking they chump ass nigga noses, yo.

I’s talking about Yongbyon, y’all.

Pussy ass southerners and the Round Eyes be all pissing themselves because we doing a little building work at the nuclear complex.

So fucking what, amirite?

I mean, they be pretending like WMDs ain’t the birthrite of the mighty Korean nation, yo. They saying that cos I is so young I gotta restart the nuke joint just to get my props. Fucking dumb asses don’t know I got mad props and big love from all my Choson niggaz already, yo. They don’t even know that it ain’t about a muthafuckas age, but about the joint he bringing. Check my nigga Soulja Boy. Or you wanna go old skool, my nigga Bow Wow.

In any case, all those niggaz be way off this time, yo. It ain’t like that at all.

Come here, yo. I got some big ass news to share with you all.

You wanna know what the ruckus up at Yongbyon really about, yo? Check it:

That’s right. The Fresh Prince of Pyongyang is starting a record company.

Yongbyong gonna be like my Paisley Park if y’all are loving on the old Prince – yo check it, he short enough to be from North Korea ha ha.

We making a recording studio up there and a pool house like tha old skool Fresh Prince used to live in in Cali and we be making a bball court and a nightclub.

Should all be ready next summer. We gonna kick that muthafucka off something feirce, yo. Be the party of the 2010s, y’all.

So chillax, bitches. Yongbyon my dealio and the J-Unit got it all in hand, yo.

Fuck You Urlai.com – You Tha Bitch

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000October UTC13PM J+0000313 in bitches, DPRK, haters, Kim Jong-Un, North Korea
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I am so fucking steaming right now man.

This time it ain’t that Round Eyed chump ACdB.

It’s this chump ass website urlai.com.

Fuck those chump ass faggits, look what they be saying about tha Fresh Prince’s 4 STAR G blog, y’all:

jongun.wordpress.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time.

Fuck that shit man. I ain’t no pussy ass bitch man. I sure am upset most the time, though. Especially when some chump ass website go calling me a 13 year old bitch man.

So fucking steaming right now, yo.

The J-Unit Be Crying On Tha Insidez, Yo

Posted: 2010EAMR +0000October UTC00AM J+000070 in DPRK, haters, Kim Jong-Un, North Korea, Round-Eyes, South Korea
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I’m a hard ass nigga, yo. Ask anyone up in this democratic peoples muthafucaka and that be what they say.

You can’t play tha Fresh Prince of Pyongyang, yo. O you welcome to try, foo‘, but it ain’t gonna happen.

But this don’t mean tha J-Unit don’t got feelings, dawg.

It don’t mean tha 4 STAR MUTHAFUCKING G don’t emphathize, yo.

It don’t mean tha Choson Nigga Number 1 never got his heart all broke ass.

I be doing my national security review of what’s happening down south in that pussy ass “army” they got.

I find this story, yo. It be about a King.

Nigga, wot? you be all like. That ain’t so sad, you be thinking. But check it. Tha King and his half-a-round eyes Yanqui boi be all falling in love and shit, yo.

But last spring our weekly trips ended when the King started his two-year military service commitment. I watched as he made clumsy salutes from a haphazard formation. As he marched away, both he and his mother were crying, but I knew that I could not. Over the next two months we exchanged daily letters until reunion day, when the King’s parents filled his new army-issue dresser with extra clothes and packs of instant ramen, and he and I strained under our feigned platonic friendship.

In the weeks since, our relationship has been under greater suspicion. Despite being a soldier he has most weekends off, and we typically spend them together. When the King’s mom asked him three times why I didn’t have a girlfriend, each time he said I was too busy. Unsatisfied, she asked me the same question. Eventually she asked him if I was gay, but not if he was. A month later his sister confronted him about us and he reluctantly confirmed it. He had hoped she would be supportive. Instead, she threatened to tell their parents.

You see now, nigga? The J-Unit be crying on tha insidez after reading that, yo.

Tha King and tha Round Eyes, they just wanna be fags together and be in love and shit.

Like me and my cousin, Kim Kardashian. Some fools saying that be wrong. I say fuck those dumb ass chumps. It be all love, yo.

So tha J-Unit cool with fag love, yo. The deputy head of foreign asset management in the Central Bank who me and Choe be dealing with when we be dealing weed for weapons – or weapons for weed – my Nigga Yung-Gu, he be all faggy like that. It ain’t no thing. It no one;s business but they’s, or that tha way tha Fresh Prince sees it anyways.

Tha J-Unit got big non-fag love for all my Choson Fagz.

Tha J-Unit be all disappoint with my far-away Choson nigga in tha big ass Satan being all hatin’ on the fagz also.

That’s lame ass. Didn’t we learn nothin’ from Slim Shady and Elton, yo?

Check it, bitchez. I gone and subtitled this shit so you could learn you chump asses something.

– One love to all my fagz, yo!

Haters Gonna Hate

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000October UTC14PM J+0000614 in DPRK, Fame, haters, Kim Jong-Chul, Kim Jong-Un, North Korea, Nukes, South Korea

What can a nigga say, yo?

Haters gonna hate. That all there is to it.

Jealous muthafuckas all part of the game, yo, they all part of the game for a famous G like me, you feel me?

There be some big ass haters down south in Pussy Ass Korea, y’all. Check it.

Look at those chumps hatin’ on tha Fresh Prince of Pyongyang, yo. We dress better up here in the North LOL!!!

What this punk all butthurt about, yo? I ain’t seen a nigga that upset since the time me and my brother Jong-Chul got cheated by this Jap speed dealer when we was in Tokyo this one time. Man. Tha JC so pissed he call back home and made the army shoot this rocket into the ocean to scare that punk ass dealer. Say we gonna nuke the place he ever short us on pills again, yo.

Normally I ain’t gonna be hatin’ on a nigga just for hatin’, yo. Like I said, haters part of the fame game. But at least get a niggaz name rite you gonna be hating on him, yo. That just disrespectful what they doing there.

O man. That the best they got down there, yo? Fire in a can? No wonder they be sending the Old Man all that money and food and shit as tribute, yo. Our weapons much better than some pussy ass fire in a can, yo. We got nukes and planes and submarines and shit. I feel bad for a nigga come to a rumble all he got be fire in a can, yo.

One Love, y’all

– FFP to tha 4 STAR G, y’all