Archive for the ‘Dead ass niggaz’ Category

Finally the J-Unit be getting his props, yo.

All around the world the Choson Nigga Number 1, the 4 Star Muthafucking G be on the front page of newspapers and websites and shit.

Everyone be like, “yo, who this nigga styling in the black like Darth Vader, yo?”

But some muthafuckas gotta be hating, yo.

Some muthafuckas gotta be spreading lies and shit about the Brilliant Comrade, yo.

Like that chump ass round eye faggit Evan Ramstad from the Wall Street Journal.

Nigga be saying the J-Unit all “chubby cheeked”. Check it:

Chubby-cheeked and unsmiling, the younger Kim wears a dark suit that looks similar to his father’s well-known khaki track suit.

LOL, amiright? Chump ass faggit don’t even know I’s rocking tha FUBU Fat Albert brand business apparel.

And chubby-cheeked? Get real, nigga. I had a Snickers in my mouth when they took my picture, yo. Even some skinny ass wirey mutafucka – like my nigga Snoop – even Snoop be looking all chubby-cheeked and shit you snap that nigga when he got a Snickers in his mouth, yo.

Fuck these dumbass round eyes.

I mean, do I talk shit about Ramstad? Saying he a dumbass round eyes and bald and wearing glasses and shit?

He look like my science teacher from back when I was in Switzerland, yo. Except that nigga had better fashion sense, you feel me?

But is the 4 Star G talking shit about Ramstad?

That nigga be hating but I got one love for all the Round Eyes, yo.

Cycle of hatred not gonna get a nigga nowhere. Just ask my dead ass nigga 2Pac about that, yo.

– K to tha J to tha muthafucking U checking out.

Lemme run something by y’all this one time, yo.

We all know that I be taking OVER this nigga we be calling the D to tha P to tha R to tha muthafucking CHOSON NIGGAAAAA!!! on Sep 9, yo?

So I be getting my inauguration party together. Those round-eye Yankee chumps they get big parties and shit.

Why not the master race, yo?

So I be getting my plan on, dog. For real.

Dad still kinda butthurt about that thing with the dancing monkey over grandpa’s face so I be wanting to run this shit by you before I take it to him. Major Choe, he be my right hand nigga, but he still be sleeping off this epic Chronic he be trading some nuke shit with the hairy ass sandniggaz for. He no good.

So here what I be thinking, yo.

To open this mother fucker up have this poster all big:

That weed, it be all lit up and shining and shit. See weed be symbolizing new life and shit being all green and shit. Plus it shows that we be the cool ass Corea, not like them fucks down in the south.Fuck those chump ass punks.

Then we got this mad shit, yo. Check it:

These be the KARA JUCHE CAT bitches. Man that is so fucking hot. I be making my self so fucking hard when I be thinking that shit all up.

We have this bigass disco ball that actually be the real ass Choson symbol, see. It be real big, though. Big like a soccerball. Then we be having these KARA bitches be all singing and shit.

And they be dressed like cats.

Then we be having the main event.

It be my nigga. My nigga Soulja Boy.

He be coming out and doing this like medley of tributes to ALL my dead ass niggaz.

2Pac mostly, but my gramps, Kim Il-Sung, too.

He be joined by Snoop if tht stoner ass muthafucka Choe be awake in time to get his ass over here.

Soulja Boy be down. We be tight. He my nigga. He not let a nigga down, yo.

Then I come out at the end of all that and do this banga joint that I be working with Timbaland on, yo.

He say it be ready in time for Sep 9, but not before then, and we can’t release it or post it or nuthing because it gonna be the theme to EA NBA 2011.

They don’t make that shit for my SNES, yo. I played it one time at the mall when we went to Tokyo and it be ok. It ain’t Super Mario SNES, yo. You think Mario let his brother fuck that Princess? If I be him, I say no way. No way I be letting that junkie Jong-Chul or that old fuck Jong-Nam be fucking my bitch, yo. They get their own bitches.

Then when I give my shout-outs to ALL the niggaz deserve mad props, that be when we be seeing this, yo:

Ha ha. You be all like NIGGA WOT?

That be the new flag, yo.

It basically the old one, but it got some weed on it. It be reprsenting new life and shit.

So what you think? Shit be cash? I don’t wanna tell my dad yet and I gotta check with Major Choe but I be pretty sure this gonna be one wild ass meeting of the Korean Workers Party, yo!

– Mad props, homiez.

The J-Unit be EPIC blunted, yo.

That be some hard ass chronic shit Major Choe be trading those centrifuges for with them sandniggaz.

I ain’t been this high since North Carolina beat Michigan State last year, yo. We be all jumping over fires and shit. Jong-Chul be all burning his ass and shit. Shit was cash. I put the pics up on Flickr, yo.

We did some shit, though, Choe and me, when we was all blasted that didn’t work out so good.

Not that faggot shit if that what you be thinking. That be a southern thing, up here not so much. Except in the prisons, yo. But way I see it, what a nigga get up to in prison or in some dark ass coal mine be his own business, you feel me?

Nah man, what I mean is we was watching this dancing monkey on the internet which FINALLY got itself back again after all them storms. Man. We must’ve been watching that nigga for fucking hours man.We be laughing out blunt ass asses off, yo. Choe be all like, for a monkey, that bitch be pretty hot.

Somehow we ended up making this:

And somehow, we ended up ordering the Party Printing House to print up 50,000 of these muthafuckas for my inauguration in a few days time.

I don’t remember any of that shit actually happening, but I’m told it did, and it sure as shit seem like the sort of fucked up shit I be doing when I’s blunted.

And nigga, I was EPIC blunted, yo.

So dad found out when some chumpass nigga in the Printing House be calling up someone to ask why we wanna go be printing 50,000 posters with the head of gramps, Kim Il-Sung, replaced by that sweet ass dancing monkey.

Someone in Dad’s office came down and be all like NIGGA WOT?

So dad calls me and he’s like WOT THA FUCK, NIGGA? And he be saying that I as bad as that weak ass junkie Jong-Chul and he don’t know if he wanna be handing over power and shit to me no more.

It be ok though. He just be butt hurt we not be sharing the chronic. I explained that gramps still be my dead ass Choson nigga number one, yo. Me and Choe, we was just smoking up. He need to chill. He on edge cos he all dying and shit.

And he be like, where that dope from, yo? Except he don’t really talk like that but that be what he meant.

And I explain about this deal that me and Choe be doing with the sandniggaz and how we selling what we ain’t smoking to the Chinks and the faggitz in the south and stacking mad bills, yo.

O man.

You shoulda seen his face.

He got all red and start choking like he be sucking on the fattest J you ever seen.

Then he be all lecturing me about how shit be all “sensitive” with the round-eyes and the southern faggits and how now really be not the time to be making deals to swap nukes with the sandniggaz for weed and shit. Says we gotta be careful or they be getting even more up in our shit.

Man, I thought he’d be proud.

We be fucking raking in the dough, yo.

He just shakes his head and gets his hot ass nurse to wheel his butthurt butt away.

I’m gonna beat the shit out of that nigga Major Choe when I see him next.

– Peace out and smoke up, niggaaaaaz!

– J-Unit For Real

My Niggaz

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000August UTC15PM J+0000415 in 2Pac, Communism, Dead ass niggaz, DPRK, Kim Jong-Un, Niggaz, North Korea, Star Craft

These are my niggaz right here.

Fuck Jong-Nam and Jong-Chul.

Pussy asses.

I wanna party with these hardass niggaz.

Man, if these muthafuckas were on my Star Craft II team we would fucking dominate.

Bitches love that shit, man.

And you know what else, dawg? No UN mothafuckas ever fucked with these hardass nigga muthafuckas neither, man.

Yeah. These are my niggaz right here.

Also 2Pac.

Big love to my deadass nigga 2Pac. For Real.

Peace-out.

– Jong-un