Archive for the ‘bitches’ Category

Check it out, y’all, tha BRILLIANT COMRADE got bitchez in high places, yo:

Interviewer: How would you handle a situation like the one that just developed in North Korea?

Palin: Well, North Korea, this is stemming from a greater problem, when we’re all sitting around asking, ‘Oh no, what are we going to do,’ and we’re not having a lot of faith that the White House is going to come out with a strong enough policy to sanction what it is that North Korea is going to do. So this speaks to a bigger picture that certainly scares me in terms of our national security policy. But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies – we’re bound to by treaty….

Interviewer: South Korean.

Palin: Yes, and we’re also bound by prudence to stand with our South Korean allies, yes.

Sarah Palin be some crazy ass Round Eyes bitch who be all over tha tv. I think she like a older and less hotter version of my cousin I’m gonna marry Kim Kardashian – she famous for nothing. Good to know that celebrities be loving on tha J-UNIT. Sure I be into this ledership game but I be thinking that once I be getting bored with this shit right here, Hollywood really be where I seeing myself in tha future.  Once I get my recording studio all sorted and start droppin sum proletarian science onto wax, yo, then I be making a name for myself in showbiz yo and I be guessing then it just a matter of time, yo.

BC be on Roc–A–Fella pretty soon and fuck all y’all devils that be sayin othawize.

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The J-UNIT gonna be taking a little study trip, yo.

Military Intelligence says I can’t say where – CHUMP KOREA & AUSFALIA!!! – and I sure as shit can’t say when – NEXT WEEK, Y’ALL!!! – but it’s gonna happen, yo.

Officially it’s like those trips around the country that my gramps, Kim Il-Sung used to take. The Korean Central News Agency be reporting on them all the time. They in story books and shit. They mostly about how he fought tha Japs and healed some leppers and made blind people see. With weed, I guess. Major Choe said weed be good for that. That before Choe got sent away.

Unofficially, though, the old man thinks it would be good for me to just get away from the stress and media attention and shit. It’s pretty intense. I can’t walk down the street without bitches being all throwing themselves at me and shit. Everyone wanting my autograph and advice on how to increase industrial or agricultural production by they reaffirming commitment to tha guiding principles of Juche and Songun and shit.

I’m pretty fucking excited, yo.

But I’s also pretty fucking pissed off as well.

Check it, I spent most of tha day on the Korean Air site trying to book my flights. Air Koryo banned me for life last year after I be glassing that chump ass faggit pilot who be telling the stewardesses to be 86ing me on tha small wines.

Not that I’d fly with those chumps ever again anyway. Check it – have you seen the fucking huge number of points a nigga be needing on the Air Koryo frequent flyer program for even an upgrade to business? It fucking crazy, yo. Fuck that shit man.

Problem is Korean Air weren’t accepting my DPRK Central Bank issued visa card and they refused my Banco Delta Asia AmEx. Same with Asiana, yo – they be to Korean Air what South Korea is to Real Korea, yo. It’s fucking crazyass, maaaan! Is my laundered money no good to you punks? We all know how poor Pussy Ass Korea is, yo. We all know it just a disease-infested American chump colony, yo. So why they be rejecting my money?

So my options basically be (1) cancel my holiday or (2) bite tha muthafucking bullet and get tha train to Dandong and take Ryan Air. So obviously I wanna cancel, rite?

Problem is tha old man say, no way I can just hanging around Pyongyang all winter. He say I either take the trip or I go do something “productive” with my time like take a course at Pyongyang Community College. Learn to speak Chinese or how to speed type or something.

So Ryan Air it is. Worse than Koryo, yo, but I can’t wait to get on tha road.

P.s. Look out Massimiliano Gioni – I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna fuck you up, you punk ass poseur.

P.p.s. So wanna fuck tha Korea Air error message cartoon bitch. So fucking hot, maaaaaan.

So fucking hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

Big news, y’all.

Tha Fresh Prince of Pyongyang’s favourite Round Eyed Afriniggaz be coming atcha with some sweet ass joints next week.

Die Antwoord be tha dopest shit on that dark ass continent that ain’t the missiles and blunt ass machetes we sold to those rebels in the Congo in return for all that mad bling a year or so back, yo.

I think this joint Evil Boy be all about the J-Unit, yo.

Check it. Tha 4 STAR G be in negotiations via my nigga Major Choe to get this joint released here in Azya thru my Yongbyon Records.

Yolandi some weird ass lokking bitch. Still, in the dark ass alleys of Hanoi and Rangoon, the J-Unit fucked stranger looking chicks. There be rumours for mad years now that Ri Chun Il, one of my alt niggaz on the Central Committee once fucked an Orangutan. We sent that crazy ass muthafucka to Indonesia to try to get those fez-wearing fucks to buy some of our missiles to shoot at those Round Eye chumps Ausfalia. He didn’t sell any missiles, but Choe said he heard from his friend in the miliary front company in Macao that Ri fucked the monkey. Said there be some myth it makes you all virile and shit. The Fresh Prince’s seed be pure, so fuck that shit, maaan.

One love Afrika.

– K to tha J to tha muthafucking U

Fuck You Urlai.com – You Tha Bitch

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000October UTC13PM J+0000313 in bitches, DPRK, haters, Kim Jong-Un, North Korea
Tags:

I am so fucking steaming right now man.

This time it ain’t that Round Eyed chump ACdB.

It’s this chump ass website urlai.com.

Fuck those chump ass faggits, look what they be saying about tha Fresh Prince’s 4 STAR G blog, y’all:

jongun.wordpress.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time.

Fuck that shit man. I ain’t no pussy ass bitch man. I sure am upset most the time, though. Especially when some chump ass website go calling me a 13 year old bitch man.

So fucking steaming right now, yo.

You know tha 4 STAR G, yo.

He be all love and giving all the time.

Like my big ups the other day to my choson fagz.

But when tha J-Unit gonna get some love back, yo?

I be sick of fucking skinny ass hookers all tha time, yo.

It time for a deep and meaningful relationship between equals.

Yeah, I’s talking about you, Kim Kardashian.

What tha fuck, bitch?

You don’t return my calls or my letters.

And now you won’t even add me on MySpace?

What tha fuck, yo?

Who be all defending you when Wolfowitz saying you just a fat ass mud shark, yo?

We be pulling out of the 6 party talks over that disrespeck to tha Kim family, yo.

And bitch, where tha love back?

I been suppoting you when no one be supporting you, yo. We’s family, bitch.

I made every muthafucka in my class at Kim Il-Sung Military College buy a copy of that romantic comedy movie you made with Ray J.

I fucking made them, yo.

Some of those niggas be all like, “but it cost 2 months wages, yo”. But I fucking made them.

One nigga I sent to the coal mines when I caught him trying to download that joint illegally off the internet.

I even bought those chump ass salads you be advertising. We used half our foreign currency reserves on the delivery charges, yo.

But what a cousin for be what I’m asking?

So where the fucking love, yo?

Bitch, I can wait.

But check it: I ain’t gonna wait forever, yo.

I ain’t gonna lie to all y’all. Famous got its rewards, yo.

Check out all the famous muthafuckas that be friending me on MySpace, yo.

Dre. Snoop. Fiddy. Even that Round Eye chump James Blunt be giving props to the Brilliant Comrade.

Soulja Boy and Timbaland, too. Funny, see, because that boy Tell ‘Em was too busy to pick the phone when Major Choe be ringing him to get his ass over here to spit with the J-Unit at the meeting. The J-Unit famous, he be all adding me and shit. We be calling chumps like that fair weather niggaz, you feel me?

You can all add the 4 STAR G too, even if you ain’t famous or hot. I mean, James Blunt did.

I can’t even tell y’all some of the shit bitches be saying to me after seeing me on every news program and website and newspaper in the whole fucking world, yo. They be suspending this account if I printed some of that shit. Ha ha.

Here be an real old skool – like black and white old skool – joint by my nigga Planet Asia. Shows you how backwards they are in the USA, yo. We haven’t had black and white tv in Real Korea since the late 1980s. He be all about the Mother Ship and shit. Major Choe, he be into that Five Percenter game. Getting blunted mostly, but math, too. You know they all about the Mother Ship that be coming to fuck up the Round Eyes. I think they be talking about me, yo.

Yo, yo, yo. Check it out.

I’m a General now, yo.

You jealous, bitches?

Ha ha ha. Fuck all y’all haters because the J-Unit be the hardassest muthafucka up in this muthafucka. You feel me?

You don’t wanna mess with this, nigga. For real. I’ll fuck you up so bad, maaaaaan.

Anyway, this Extraordinary Meeting of the Party is getting underway. It’s just as boring as you’d expect, yo. All these speeches just go on and on and on and on. It’s hard not to fall asleep, yo. Especially since me and Major Choe is so totally blunted. We’ve been smoking so much of that sandnigga chronic that we be swapping that nuclear thingamyjig for that we’re almost out, yo. Choe’s going back down to Macao to meet with these hairy ass punks after the meeting is over.

Choe says we gotta ration this shit if we’re gonna get through this boring ass muthafucking meeting. We got some equithesin caps off of Choe’s buddy Cougar and I think we can huff that shit during the really boring speeches by all the really senior army peanuts.

Feels good to be a General but fuck me I’m bored.

Any fine ass bitches wanna drop by, I’ll be in seat RF89 for the next few days.

– General Choson Nigga Number 1 Cheking Out.