Space Shit Sorted – And Big Ups To My Round Eyed Nigga Matthew McConaughey

Posted: 2010EPMR +0000October UTC13PM J+0000613 in DPRK, G20 Seoul, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Kardashian, MySpace, North Korea, Nukes, Parades, sandnigga, South Korea, Space

Yo, first up, big reminder to you all to be friending tha J-Unit over at MySpace, yo.

There be less than a month for me to get 1000 friends or else I’m gonna nuke all those punks at the G20 summit in Seoul – especially those sandnigga Saudis who be talking all shit about me to my girl, Kim Kardashian.

Check it, my Round Eye nigga Matthew McConaughey did the right thing, he be hitting me up to be friends.

If you wanna rap with the 4 STAR G, but you also want me to nuke those chumps, you can friend me over at Friendster, yo. Friendster basically MySpace but for us bugs. So if you wanna friend me over there, check it, I don’t want no slant-eyed bugs over there, so if you ain’t got your eyes fixed yet, get that shit sorted, yo. You making the Master Race look bad looking all Asian and shit.

Aiight, then.

So y’all remember my confusion a few days back over the video of the parade? How there be some space kids busting their moves? Turns out that shit was for real and not just something I was hallucinating because I was mad blunted and took that horse tranq.

Check it:

So I ask my homie Major Choe, wtf?

And he got no fucking idea, yo. But that ain’t surprising for that stoner ass punk.

So Choe do what he always do when all confused and shit.

He check his diary. He be writing in that diary all the time, yo. It full of shit he be calling ‘automatic writing’ and designs for furniture and shit. He indexes that muthafucka like only some obsessive stoner can.

And it turns out that not only is there a for real space program up in this worksers paradise, yo, but check it: I’m in charge.

When we find out shit like this, it ususally because of something that happened back in January.

We call that our “lost month”, yo.

It was snowing like a muthafucka so we couldn’t go outside and play, and Choe got his hands on this crystal powder shit they use in the Kim Chaek University for experiments on rats and shit.

O man. That shit got us mad blunted. It put us right to sleep.

For real. We was putting that shit on our coco puffs at breakfast. We was living like fucking zombies for that whole month.

A whole lot of meetings and decisions and shit happened that we just got no idea about.

Including the inaugural meeting of the DPRK Interplanetary Ideological Exploration Committee which I was chairing.

Turns out the old man put me in charge. Turns out the military and tha Korean Committee of Space Technology aren’t happy with just pretending to shoot sattelites into space.

They want to put a nigga on Mars.

They want the Juche ideology to taken to the outer spheres or some shit.

There’s a lot of stuff we still can’t remember but check it, we got a a €50,000 budget…

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