Major Choe Brings Major Chronic

Posted: 2010EAMR +0000September UTC09AM J+000069 in business, Dalmatian, DPRK, joints, KARA, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Korean storms, Macao, North Korea, Nukes, Snoop, weed, Willie Nelson

So wasssup?

J-Unit be toasting right here, boi.

Major Choe, he be like my right-hand-nigga, he be coming back from Macao early this morning after I’s sent him there to sort out some shit wit my stash down there that that chumpass faggit Obama be all getting up in our shit for.

And tha news be good, nigga. Tha news be gooooood.

The Old Man be slowly handing shit over to me to take care of while he gets all old and shit and all talking about going back to the USSR where he grew up as a boy. And I’m like, that place don’t last no more, nigga. And his Generals they be all like, nah, we gotta pretend like you a real hard ass Choson bitch born and bred. Like Jong-Un.

So he let me do these fireworks and shit and some sattellite launches to make the internet go faster than fucking 4.8kb. Fireworks are cash, nigga. Except we was so fucking stoned on the day that we had to pay these army niggaz to do that shit for us.

Anyway, I’s starting to help out with the weapons and shit. Shit is boss. What we doing is swapping this nuclear technology stuff with these Afghan sandniggas and in return we be getting the dopest dope you ever fucking smoked, nigaaaaaaa!!! Shit be so epic, man. FUCK. That shit gonna knock you on your ass all day, man.

We also be getting smack and shit but we just send that shit to China and those pussy asses in the South. My older brother Jong-Chul, he be getting into that shit. We had to send that nigga to Cuba for like a fucking month to get clean. He told me he spent all the time fucking Latin bitches with Diego Maradona and he still parties. Tried to get Maradona to come coach our national team, but he got all confused and shit when we gave him a copy of Dad’s book On The Importance Of The Ideological Struggle For The Revolutionary & Scientifically Correct Ideology of Juche In The Sphere Of Sporting Excellence. Can’t say I blame the nigga.

So Major Choe be good at this shit. His dad used to be in charge of food and grain and shit and used to swap that shit for weapons. Now we be swapping weapons for weed. For real.

So Choe and I be spending all day smoking up and watching these pussy ass K-Pop DVDs he brung back with that kilo of Afghan weed. I’m gonna fuck that KARA band when they all dressed up like cats and shit. That is so hot. But man there is some pussy ass faggits they got down there. Look at these Dalmatian dawgs. Man. I don’t know if I should be kicking they asses or be fucking they asses, yo. They be some weakass niggaz right there.

They think they b-boys. Man. I am ten times a better rapper than any of those punkass bitches. Bitches should be licking the J-Unit’s face, yo. The J-Unit Crew, we be chilling right now. We be working on something with Timbaland for the inuaguration, though. Fucking banging that shit. You see.

So this what it be like up here in the Hermit Kingdom tonight, yo. Check it:

Ha ha ha. O man I is so fucking high…

Peace out to ALL my niggaz!

Big love to my nigga Snoop and my round-eye nigga Willie Nelson. This joint some cowboy shit, nigaaaaa. Git my money, buy my medicine, buy my medicine, buy my medicine. Yeah boyeee:

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